you receive an invitation to write on the queer unconscious. you watch frozen with your granddaughter. you say yes but aren’t sure which prepositions to use. you google queer princesses. Sodom and Gomorrah!! you write to ask the editor which preposition he really means but you accidentally delete yourself. you spend an hour reading queer princess porn. it’s just not on. you fantasise about (#giveElsaagirlfriend) telling him that your queer unconscious is getting off not on. you can get turned on. be on shift. on top. on the money. on the ball. that’s so off. it is dark as a Disney sequel in there. dark as a queer’s heart. NO CHILD SHOULD KNOW WHAT SEXUAL PREF THEY ARE! maybe you should get a torch song and go on and on and on. you have always been too concerned with the correct words for things. there is no way to say this. it is possible to noun queer. it is possible to verb disney.
you sleep on it.
in your dreams you speak sub voce. #boycottDisney. you are under your voice. you are topped by your dream. your mother always said that she was beside herself. she was coming down on you like a ton of bricks. your mother is always coming like a ton of bricks. your mother is always coming. lesbians are the good gays cuz they give str8 boys chubbies. there’s nothing intrinsically wrong with sleeping but it is queer. it is queer to sleep perchance to dream of being a Disney™ princess. it is possible to be queer and sleep, but not to sleep with Elsa. say no to the deviates pushing this LGBT agenda. or it is possible to sleep with / beside / on / in queer princesses, but not to be a queer princess. it is possible to kiss your own image in the mirror and not to think of lacan but of #Elsa forming dildos out of icicles. i for one personally don’t want my daughter coming home from kinder saying daddy I have a girlfriend that’s not cute at all. it is possible to lie between the thighs of a queer princess. it is possible to let it go. it is possible to be a princess and a prick. STOP THE MADNESS!!
Nb. The italicised sections are quotations from the comments on Claire Gillespie’s ‘Disney Has to #GiveElsaAGirlfriend Because Lesbians Deserve Fairy Tales Too’.
Nike Sulway works at the University of Southern Queensland in Toowoomba, and is the author of several books including, most recently, Dying in the First Person.