I don’t break up with Trel in the end. I can’t bring myself to do it just yet. There is a forthright softness about him that seems so promising to me.
So things continue as they were, but less certain. Moments of tenderness come with mixed feelings, anxiety about the future… Basically, it feels like everything could come apart at any moment.
Meanwhile, classes are tapering off for the semester. We have shot most of the footage we need for our video art project but it’s put on hiatus while people study for exams (I don’t have any) and go away to places (I don’t go anywhere). Everything feels very up-in-the-air.
It’s funny, but when everything in my life seemed set on a definite course, I felt kinda trapped and resented it… but now that certainty has receded, I feel like I’ve been robbed of something. I’m such a dickhead.
Ishka and I get in the habit of sitting at the table by the window, drinking tea and smoking ciggies and talking until late. I complain about my weird feelings about Trel and everything. She gives me astrological advice from the internet and other dumb stuff that makes me feel heaps better.
One night we hear an ominous sound from somewhere in the house, a kind of muffled thumping, that we can’t identify. Later I realize it was the future closing in.
The next morning I’m helping Ishka with a thing at uni. We walk our usual way, passing the place with the pizza smell.
It’s this day, for some reason, that we decide to investigate…
What we see through that window can never be erased.
Michael Hawkins is a Melbourne-dwelling comic book and visual artist of Tasmanian and U.S. derivation. He believes in mystery.
Keep an eye out for more instalments from 'Ursula’ in the near future. While you’re waiting, grab a copy of The Lifted Brow #25 to see more of Michael’s work.